and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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