I wish my penis had an off switch
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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