i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
