idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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