well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize