The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
