Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
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Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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