he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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