I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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