I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
