South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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