no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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