He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if only i could text you this smell
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
