tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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