i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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