three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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