Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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