My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
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He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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