i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
