we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
