some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
