Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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