just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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