OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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