Whod you bang
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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