ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
