i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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