you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had sex on a roof
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
