so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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