So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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