we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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