i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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