and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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