I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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