I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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