You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
