Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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