Someone shit on the floor
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
