would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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