she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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