Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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