If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
