Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
