remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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