I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
