I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
