I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
