You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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