plz talk dirty to me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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