Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize