Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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