Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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