And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
