Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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