Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize