maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
