Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
