I'm lost and stupid without you.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dicks are not precious.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
