My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize