Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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