I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
