I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize