What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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