you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
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My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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