Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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