Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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