You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
