margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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