Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
